Monday, August 28, 2006
{ 4:41 AM }
i feel like crying right now. can i cry? i wanted so much to do so..but i just cant. those words she said kept ringing in my head, "consider not going for that piano exam because i'm afriad you cant make it, and you may affect my other students. discuss it with your mother." those are the words that are so hurting..i did practise. i really did. i spent my time trying hard to find that i did not improve. is it what trying hard is all about? i cant control everything..i'm breaking down. why? why did all these happen??? WHY? i want to ask why did all these have to happen? right now, right here, i'm crying..those words. can i choose not to hear it? anyways..i wasnt the one who wanted to take this exam in the first place. it ws you who signed me up without telling me. you were the one whon started out late..and causing me not to be able to finish practising. dont worry. those words..it aint goning to hurt me anymore. i'm just going to cry over it..and it'll be over. it will. after tonight, when dawn breaks, i'll work hard to prove this wrong. this is the spirit of theodora(: i hate you! i really hate you!!! i'll practise harder than ever..i must pass at least. i'll not let my mom's money go into the drain. money is not for me to waste. 10 more days, to fight for my only chance of survival. I"M GOING TO PROVE YOU WRONG. I CAN DO IT. THEODORA WILL PASS IT AND IT"LL BE YOUR STUDENTS WHO"LL AFFECT HER AND NOT HER WHO"LL AFFECT YOUR STUDENTS.